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A loud splash in the night had scared Ida awake,

it gave her so big a fright she started to shake,

her face was stiff and white like frosting on a cake,

«Did a meteorite just crash into the lake‽»

 

Ida grabbed her raincoat and snuck out the door,

an old decrepit boat had washed up on the shore,

«How does it even float? this thing went through a war!

and someone left a note carved all along the floor»

 

«This looks like a joke, I need someone to explain,

If I read this I will choke, it's hurting my brain,

I wonder if they spoke this way, it's so arcane

either someone had a stroke here or went insane»

 

From the water came a sound, like a gurgled call 

a deep dark voice shook the ground like a wrecking ball

Ida looked all around but saw nothing at all

as her thoughts came unbound like stitches on an old doll.

 

Whatever was said must have been some kind of spell

for the water turned red like a vision from Hell 

then the whole lake was bled through a gaping spillwell

to the most dreadful tolling of a distant bell.

 

With one last toll the pandemonium was gone

swallowed by the sinkhole, the nightmare had withdrawn

in its stead a circling shoal of trout had spawned

like a grim patrol they swam around until dawn.

 

When three huntsmen came by, led by their loyal hounds

one of them let out a cry: "here! look what I found!"

they were so horrified, their rifles hit the ground

no eye remained dry for Ida, who had drowned.

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"I is for Ida who drowned in a lake" from The Gashlycrumb Tinies: or, After the Outing by Edward Gorey, 1963

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